Sexual Intimacy!

 Sexual intimacy seems to be a sensitive subject, if not the hardest subject to discuss in marriages. Some couples have great sexual intimacy, others have hit rock bottom, oftentimes leading to divorce. Sex can be social and biological. An investigation of the response of the body to sex by Masters and Johnson identified four stages of human sexual response which are excitement, plateau, orgasm, resolution. They mentioned that during the response there are two basic physiological reactions. One involves an increased concentration of blood in bodily tissues in the genitals and the female breast and the other an increase in the nerve and muscles throughout the body. This leads to those four stages that will lead to sexual intimacy. Comparing the two genders; men tend to have a high sex drive compared to women, they tend to think about it, fantasize about it, and desire sexual intercourse more often. This high sex drive can be attributed to how their organs function. Men have testicles, prostate, Cowper’s gland which increase sexual tension consistently because they secrete a sticky, lubricating fluid before actual ejaculation of sperms and semen. On the other hand, when women feel safe, warm, and close to their partner they tend to enjoy sexual intimacy with their spouses. Together both genders, when they engage in sexual intimacy experience a release in dopamine a feel-good chemical, oxytocin, the attachment hormone, adrenaline which comes from excitement, and serotonin the relaxing hormone. These hormones ensure a great experience for both sexes. Interestingly the sexual anatomy of men is exterior and the female`s anatomy is interior. There seem to play a role in experimenting with sexual things at a young age. Men seem to experiment a lot at a very young age. These differences in sexes can present challenges in marriages because they might lead to dissatisfaction on the female side which often results from men`s long resolution period. Communication is another elephant in the room because conversations about sex can be hard to have amongst couples. Everything begins before marriage. There, seems to be great importance in delaying sexual intimacy until marriage, but many people do not fully comprehend the impact it has when one engages in it before marriage. It is interesting to note that sex is one of the most gratifying forms of human intimacy, it definitely has the great and strong ability to bond a couple and increase their emotional attraction, but sometimes it can be meaningless, seem empty, and alienating if the intention of those engaging is not supported with love and care towards each other. Having many sexual is a huge disadvantage more than an advantage. Often those negative feelings that come with sex are felt by those who engage in it before marriage. There are different reasons why people engage in sexual relations, some could be to satisfy their sexual fantasies which often lead to unrealistic expectations, others see it as a bonding experience and an expression of love. Sadly, the world has taken an interesting turn where many people engage in casual sex, especially before marriage for the fun of it, whilst others engage in extramarital sex because they want unrealistic sexual satisfaction from different partners. This completely shadows sexual intimacy in most relationships and a loss of closeness and bond is evident in many couples. Shifting gears to the effects of sex in teenagers and young adults, often unwanted pregnancies have been evident in most teenage girls who engage in sexual activities. These unwanted pregnancies come with many burdens for these women because often men would not take responsibility for the pregnancy because of fear or lack of real bond and closeness that was not established in the young couple. To conclude I think having great sex as a couple is a process that should start after marriage and over time through experience and understanding each other`s bodies become more natural and fulfilling.