Capstone or Cornerstone Marriage?

 Marriage! The union of two people for a very long time is an important step that any person will take in their life. It takes intention and planning to have a successful marriage. Authenticity is also a requisite principle in having a genuine and fulfilling marriage. When to get married, is an elephant in the building. Some people delay marriage for reasons such as finance and past experiences. On the other hand, some get married very early in their adult life. Lois M. Collins, a member of Deseret News observed two different marriages. She observed that young marriages are called cornerstones marriages because they provide a foundation as partners forge family life and hit some milestones together like education and career together, often struggling financially at the start. On the other hand, Capstone marriages on the other hand involve people who are 25 or older. The term acknowledges that the individuals have already launched and felt ready to cap off accomplishments like education, career start, and a bit of financial security. There is a debate about which type of marriage is successful, either cornerstone or capstone. Studies have shown that delaying marriage does not delay sex, this is a huge observation especially in the capstone marriage, those who get married later in their lives. For the most part not delating sex means that there are many people having sex before marriage thus increasing the possibility of intimacy dissatisfaction when they get married. In addition to that sex before marriage can also increase the desire to get married because some people`s main reason for getting married is sexual intimacy. Furthermore, Hawkins noted that those who marry young can probably delay having children for a few years, but those who marry older can find themselves limited by their biological clock. Fertility stress may be one reason those who marry later are “not as star-in-their-eyes happy” as younger-marrieds, he said. Couples may start to focus more on timing and the possible challenges of becoming parents than on the relationship with each other. That reason and those mentioned can be the reason that leads to unsuccessful capstone marriages. Studies have also shown that 80% of people in the United States are cohabiting and in 1970, the median age at first marriage was 21 for women and 23 for men. In 2021, the ages were 28 and 30, respectively, the new report says. These staggering numbers show that multitudes of people are delaying marriages thus increasing the likelihood of failed marriages in the future. However, capstone marriages are not always unsuccessful rather some are successful because of financial stability. Financial instability is a huge factor that leads to divorce and marital problems in cornerstone marriages because most of those couples are young, most of them in school and some are in debt. Also, capstone marriages mean that both members of the partnership bring in a sense of maturity which can be very crucial to a successful marriage. Shifting the focus to cornerstone marriages, which according to studies have shown it is more successful than capstone marriages. I think success comes from growing together, experiencing things at a young adult age, and maturing together. This growth comes because there is time to grow, instead of rushing to have children, they can focus on their marriage. On the other hand, cornerstone marriages come with huge and sometimes hard adjustments. Finances are at the top of the list. Trying to balance finances as a young couple is hard because sometimes both the husband and wife might still be at school paying tuition and paying bills with limited funds. Another elephant in the room is finding it hard to communicate about sexual intimacy. Young couples sometimes find it hard to open up about how they feel about their sexual intimacy especially when they wish that the other should make some adjustments and improvements. In conclusion, I think when to marry and whom to marry is a matter of personal preference and should be made when one is emotionally ready to commit.