Family Roles!

      One of the basic assumptions of The Family System Theory is that the whole is better than the sum of the parts, this statement makes sense in many ways when explaining the family as a system. Even though a family comprises many individuals, all of these individuals have distinct attributes and characteristics and play a role in the success of a family as a whole. Furthermore, the Family Systems Theory further explains that “As a natural social system, the family possesses its own characteristic, rules, roles, communication patterns, and power structure, it represents an integration of parts such that individuals’ members can only be understood within the context of the whole”. This is seen widely in different families all around. The approach that the parents take to raise their children is different compared to another couple. That is why tensions arise oftentimes when an outside party that is not part of that particular family penetrates and tries to form opinions to help in any way. Their perspective might be always different from the family`s perspective. Inside the family system, there are always questions asked on different roles that each member of the family has. This can also vary from family to family. For example, one can ask, is it a father`s responsibility to stay at home and take care of the kids? or is it a mother`s responsibility to work and provide for the family? These two questions can sometimes cause arguments because of different opinions and views. Decades ago, the primary responsibility of a father was to provide, protect and preside over the family. It was evident that the father was the primary breadwinner, and the mother was responsible for taking care of the kids at home.  Even The Family A Proclamation to the World mentions that “by divine design, fathers are to preside over the family in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection of their families”. On the other hand, the mother`s primary responsibility is said to be to nurture the children in the home. This seems to have changed over the years as there has been an emergence of ambitious women who want to pursue careers and focus more on work. This has seen family responsibilities change over the years. Some fathers are now more involved in the nurturing of the kids, basically, they are “stay home dads”. While this may be normal to some families, other families find this unusual. One thing I have seen is that oftentimes when either the father shifts from being the breadwinner and the mother shifts from being the nurturer, they tend to forget their primary responsibilities, and often times tension arises in the family because either the father might feel inadequate and feel like he is not fulfilling his primary responsibilities that usually come naturally to men. Like I said before, every family is different, the question is always, “which roles will bring us the greatest happiness, which ones satisfy the system”. This question will serve as a springboard for different families to build their unique system on.  Furthermore, when it comes to the boundaries that the parents set in their family system, the effective one is always having the parents as the subsystem in the family dynamic, this helps children to know what the boundaries are and need to know that there is someone that has power over them and is there to protect them. This means that parents are confidential about intimate subjects at the same time give children the opportunity to express themselves and have the freedom to act.  It has been observed that children, especially small kids are always want to help and be involved. This can set a great foundation for them to carry that same system to their future families.

Work Cited

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/36035_000_24_family.pdf