Preparation for Marriage

 Marriage is considered an important thing in any culture anywhere in the world. Though important marriage can be some people adore it from a distance and shun committing themselves to it. Initially, during the era of the Roman Empire, people got married for political reasons and financial stability. Though it might be the same case for some reasons for marrying in this era, for the most part, the reasons have changed. Today the desire to get married has reduced amongst adults throughout the world. Some people, just don’t want to get married because of commitment issues, whilst others find it hard to get the right spouse for them, either because they haven’t found the right match, or they are not that attractive to attract the other sex. Despite all these reasons, people naturally want to get married, but the action part is still a struggle.

Starting from the bottom going up, one might ask what are the foundational principles of a marriage? Or let alone what are people looking for in a partner in the dating phase? One important factor that most people consider is commonalities. This is an important factor because having common things means you are less likely to argue a lot. Concerning commonalities, people also consider culture (family culture, social culture, etc.). Culture molds a person shapes their behaviors and attitudes. It can even define their values, what they hold dear, and prioritize. People tend to look for that! When people share similar cultural beliefs, they tend to consider each other as a potential match. Furthermore, religion tends to go hand in hand with culture because religion also shapes people`s characters. I think religion also defines our values, what we hold sacred and dear to us. Often time people from the same religion tend to marry compared to people from different religions.

In the quest of finding a spouse people tend to have different approaches to dating. In some cultures, people approach dating assortively. This approach allows people to have shared activities with a variety of people. This allows the person to get to know many people whilst looking for their match. Though some people argue that assortive dating is not a great route because to some people it comes off as if someone is trying to play around with the opposite sex. Some people believe that the best way to date is one at a time sometimes called date till you hate by others who oppose that way of dating. Date till you hates seems to be evident when people opt for that way of dating because they date the same person for a long time and often the relationship becomes toxic, and the couple ends up resenting each other. This often becomes a vicious cycle as the person repeats the same process over and over again. This seems to change the view towards dating for those who believe in the date till you hate process because their intent when they approach someone of the opposite sex is not to get to know the person sometimes it might be for “revenge” reasons. In addition to dating, there seems to be an emerging kind of dating that the young generation calls “hang out”. This has changed the real structure and reason for dating. A date in its real sense is planned, paired off, and paid for. What is interesting is that some of the responsibilities of a husband are to provide, protect, and preside. There is a connection between the responsibilities of a man in the dating phase and the responsibilities of a husband in marriage.

 Three things that are important in getting to know someone are togetherness meaning shared activities, talk, meaning mutual self-disclosure, and time meaning spending time and getting to know the person. These three things seem to be crucial for a successful marriage. In conclusion, a marriage that endures is built on the foundations of togetherness, time, and talk.